Clichés from Conversational Underperformers
A guest post from a former editor of mine
"Mother and daughter having an argument" by Tambako the Jaguar is marked with CC BY-ND 2.0.
Today’s post on clichés is from a former editor of mine, who needs to remain anonymous
Life is short, but it turns out to be long enough to waste a lot of time in conversations with, shall we say, conversational underperformers. Here are some tell-tale utterances I have noted over the years to indicate it is probably time to end the talk. Most of these are political, but they can come up in many contexts.
“Politicians are all the same”
This one takes about five seconds of not very deep thought to throw out the window. Is Boris Johnson really like Angela Merkel ? Are Donald Trump and Justin Trudeau cut from the same cloth? Politicians are actually a very diverse bunch, with diverse and often conflicting motives, interests, visions and styles. If your guy can’t see this, walk away.
“It’s all about the money”
Very little in life is actually all about and only about the money. (Any couple who has ever discussed a real estate decision knows this.) Many factors go into a decision - recognition, envy, glory, charity, convenience, dreams, jealousy, love, competitiveness, laziness, covetousness, fear - to name just a few. This is true whether it is a business investment, politics, home life, ethics (yes, ethics), whatever. In politics, where this is usually applied, money certainly talks. But money will take you only so far – you still have to win an election. If it were only about the money, Hillary Clinton would have won in 2016 and Michael Bloomberg in 2020.
“I always say what I think”
No, you don’t. Nobody does. You wouldn’t last a minute in any job, marriage, friendship or meaningful relationship or social situation if you did. To the contrary, if you have a modicum of intelligence, you filter your thoughts and express those that will get you the outcome you desire. In fact, probably, the smarter you are, the more you do this.
“I’m entitled to my opinion”
In a political context, this one is usually said by someone who believes 9/11 was an inside job, COVID is a hoax and the U.S. is being run by a ring of pedophiles. Yes, you are entitled to an opinion - when it is based on facts. You are not entitled to make nonsense up and repeat it as truth.
“The media are biased/all liars”
A variation on this is “I don’t believe anything I see/read in the media.” OK, let’s break this one down. Who won the tennis Grand Slam this year? Oh? And how do you know that? So, there’s at least one thing we got from the media that we believe.
But mostly, what people really mean when they say this is, “I don’t recognize my views in most of the media I watch.” From the Trumpist side of the political spectrum, it is “The lamestream media are corrupt.”
Yes, media are biased. But the “the media” is not a monolith, any more than the politicians are. They certainly have some traits in common – they simplify, sensationalize, sometimes exaggerate, or omit. At their very best, they are an imperfect reflection of reality, or just the day’s events.
That is where discernment comes in. Is the BBC the same as ITN? The Times just like The Daily Mirror? Fox News the same as MSNBC? Are NPR and One America the same? Can you tell the difference between fact and opinion? Reporting and spin? If you can’t, learn how.
“All politicians lie”
This is a variation of the first point. While it is probably true (given that all people lie), it will usually be deployed to deflect – that is, “Yeah, my guy made that up, but everybody does that.” Well, not really. There are mistakes, there is context (statecraft requires a degree of dissimulation), there are fibs, and there are whoppers, stuff your guy just made up. And then there are conspiracy theories, disinformation and false accusations. Again, discernment is key here.
“I don’t trust anyone”
Have you been tested for clinical paranoia? Seriously, anyone who says this cannot be trusted. How can you trust someone who does not trust?
Funnily enough, in Spain, where I live, distrust is often equated with intelligence. There are dozens of proverbs, which often substitute for thinking in Spanish conversation, to reinforce the association. The effect, at least for a foreigner, is the opposite. When you think about it, “I don’t trust anybody” is not a bright thing to say.
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